A New Chapter Begins
by EmbryStarr
Summary: What happens when Tamlin finds his own mate? And what will he do when he finds out that she knows how he treated Feyre Archeron before she fled from him. Will the bond work? Or will she, too, have to escape for her life?
1. Opening

_(Ok. First and foremost; I want to start this off by saying I have NEVER written an OOC fanfic. To be perfectly honest, actually... I hate reading OOC fanfics. Not because I think the writing is bad, but due to my own personal preference, I like reading about the characters and the actual characters only. No made up stupid names like Lily Fire coming in and just jumping into the scene out of nowhere. It pulls me out of the immersion of the story and sometimes it seems like the author is actually putting themselves into the story itself because it's something they personally fantasize about. For some reason it always seems super corny to me._

 _BUT, any OOC writers/readers out there please forgive me for thinking this. There has been this idea itching in the back of my mind for MONTHS. Actually, ever since ACOMAF came out. It's been growing and growing and I absolutely HAVE to put this into words. So, sincerely, I apologize for bashing OOC's. Because I am about to become the biggest hypocrite of all time on this matter. I am writing a continuation... at first it started out as how I personally thought Feyre should have reacted when Tamlin shielded her inside the mansion. But then it turned into something entirely different. This is how Tamlin is going to meet, react to, and experience his own mating bond. BUT it is from the female's POV. Wish me luck and here we go.)_

It hurt. That's all that was running through my mind as I tore through the brush and the foliage. Everything hurt. My lungs, heaving for the air that they weren't getting enough of. My legs, for burning from pushing myself harder than I have ran in my entire life. The stinging on my face from the branches whipping past me with such a speed that it felt like razor blades were slicing my skin open. Whatever had been hunting me in the meadow was now much closer than I anticipated. It was fast. And big. And from the brief glance of it before I dropped my pack full of flowers and herbs for the house, it had very long, piercing teeth. Rows of them. And it was smiling...

My panting felt as if it were echoing through the entire Autumn Court's surrounding forest as my heart beat so loudly in my ears I was afraid that any moment, my heart would burst from the fear and the adrenaline. I could hear something less than a few yards behind me snarl with fury, somehow making my arms and legs pump even faster. Trees shot past my field of vision like brown and red and gold blurs. The dry bed of twigs and leaves beneath my feet sounded like thousand of shuffling papers all at once. There was nowhere to hide. And in my moment of pure terror, I realized too late that instead of running back towards the house, I was actually running in the opposite direction. Heading right for the border to the Spring Court.

At this point, I didn't much care where I was running to. I just couldn't stop. I didn't have time to stop and climb a tree, or dive into a nearby bush. It was too close and too smart. Whatever it was, I had never seen one before and I was pretty sure it wasn't a creature of the Autumn Court.

I could feel my knees trembling, and my vision beginning to get more and more blurry the harder I pushed myself. I wasn't used to this kind of physical activity. The most I did was pull weeds in the mistresses garden for up to two or three hours if I felt up to it. Running wasn't something I was used to since I was a child. And my body was paying for it dearly right about now.

Something snapped at the back of my neck. Either a hand or a jaw. I could feel something in me break like glass shattering with a sudden realization that I was going to die. There was nobody around for miles. And I was a nobody. A maid who worked in the palace of the Autumn Court. One of dozens. Nobody would know I had gone missing for hours, and even then, they would eventually think that I had run away and disappeared. Which.. in a way.. will be the exact truth of it.

The foliage around me began to turn green. I noticed this right before something caught my ankle, causing me to slam downward face first into the bright green grass. My head bounced off of the earth. Even though it looked soft and inviting, a resounding smack reverberated through my skull as I could already feel blood beginning to drip from my nose and the cut in my lip from my teeth biting down as I fell. My skirts were halfway up my legs as something grabbed me by the shoulder and flipped me over. I blinked away the bright sun behind it's head as it's face came into view. It was still smiling. And it's skin looked to be peeling away in certain areas as if it had been burned terribly. It had no hair, and it's skin looked too tight on it's face. Especially with that disturbing looking grin on it's face.

I could hear a whimper escape from my lips as it reared it's elongated, clawed hand back, about to slice me apart, when suddenly it was gone. The weight from it pressing down on my legs had disappeared. Now it was only the sun shining down on me. Stray strands of hair that had been pinned up so carefully this morning now blew across my face on a phantom breeze. I was wheezing, but I couldn't hear anything. Just an awfully loud ringing in my ears. Maybe I hit my head harder than I had thought...

I tried to roll over, but turning on my side was a quest unto itself. My sides were burning so badly from running that it felt like I had swallowed a knife and it was now in my kidneys. I clutched my sides as I painfully propped myself up on one arm, half sitting up. I could feel warm blood gushing down from my nose, causing me to spit in revulsion as the strong coppery tang filling my mouth. I coughed for what seemed like very long painful seconds, before finally raising my head in the direction of where the creature had disappeared to. I couldn't think straight. I just knew that I should be dead. I couldn't understand where it went or why it...

Not less than several yards away from me, something caught my eye that had me frozen in terror. There was another monster. But this one was on top of the one who grinned and was tearing it apart with it's claws and teeth. I actually couldn't really recognize if anymore from how much it had been torn apart.

I could feel the blood drain from my face as the enormous beast on top of it finally raised it's head towards me. I could feel my breath catch in my throat upon the realization of what... of WHO I was looking at. I had seen this form once before. Running away from the palace when I was young. With Lord Lucien before he disappeared. It was the High Lord of the Spring Court. Tamlin.

Even though the world around me was spinning, I somehow managed to push myself up onto to severely wobbly legs. I was trembling. I didn't know why, but somehow, I felt more afraid now than I had felt being chased through the woods by that.. thing.

He just watched me, still standing over the mangled and unrecognizable creature. Something was wrong. He either should have attacked me by now for coming into the Spring Court border without permission or he shouldn't even be here... what was he doing here? And why did he save me? Everyone knew how much he hated the Autumn Court for what it's High Lord did to his friend. He should have recognized me immediately by the colors of my gown, even if I wasn't royalty of high prestige.

I began stepping backwards, me chest still heaving. I knew my eyes were wide with shock. More so at him or the now dead monster, I wasn't sure anymore. I had a tight feeling in my chest. A sense of terrible foreboding. He stepped away from the gored thing and faced me head on.

With a flash, a High Fae was standing before me. His long hair haphazardly pulled back to keep off of his face and a strange startled look in his eyes. I wanted to run again. This wasn't right. He didn't have shirt on and his trousers hung dangerously low on his waist, showing a perfect V. My trembling grew as he took one more step towards me, causing me to take another step back.

"...What is your name?" A small cracked whisper escaped his throat, as if he were parched for water.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, as if to hold myself together.

"I apologize, High Lord. I should not have stepped foot on your border..."

"What is your NAME!"

His quiet voice turned into a growl that had me practically jump out of my skin. I began to tremble once more, stepping further and further away.

"Elen."

His fists were clenched, and he looked at me with such an expression of determination that I was about to turn and flee this time, once again.

"Elen..." He said softly, as if trying to coo a frightened child. "You are my mate."


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

 _Some Strange Mistake_

Growing up, I always learned that blending into the background was the safest way to keep out of dangerous situations. I used to want to be different, unique, and my own person as a child. But it never worked out for me. Finished my embroidery more quickly than all the other girls in my lessons? Suddenly, instead of being talented or a hard worker, I was a show off. Not just the other girls would bully me for trying my hardest, but even the parents would make snide remarks to me when my mother wasn't around. From this, I learned, never be last, but never be first. Always sit comfortably in the middle.

As I got older, and began to get a more feminine and womanly figure, I found out quickly that it wasn't something to be proud of. Skinny waist? Girls would say that I looked as if I were unhealthy. Attractive hips and breasts? Suddenly I was a whore. That brought in more than just condescending girls. The males began to give me attention too. But not the good kind. I learned pretty fast that in order to keep myself from being raped, I had to cover up and cower. I wore lots of layers, even stuffing old material around my waist and breasts in order to keep people from allowing their eyes to wander. I let my hair hang in my face a lot and barely kept up with it other than washing it and brushing it as required by social standards. If I could, I wouldn't even do that.

After mother passed a few years ago, things only got worse. Because of being a High Fae, and my 'fortunate' background of lessons in what society deemed to be valuable for a woman growing up, my mother managed to get me a position as a handmaiden to the Lady of the Autumn Court. I knew she was at least happy about that before she passed, knowing that I had something to get me by until I found someone who would want to marry me. Something of which I highly doubted would happen if I had any say in it. I hated people. I hated the hustle and bustle of the palace. The constant feeling that even if I was doing nothing wrong, someone could go out of their way to make me miserable. Be it another handmaiden who was in a nasty mood, or a drunken guard who didn't care who he took to bed as long as it was a woman. So far luck had been on my side, but it seems it ran out. In the worst way I could not even fathom to be possible.

The battle with Hybern had ended over several months ago. Everyone was back in their lands, still fixing up their damage to their property and their people. I was actually sad it was over. All those wretched brothers had come back, most of them even more evil and heinous than they were before they left. I had to be back on my guard now more than ever. To the point of which I knew when they left their rooms, where they usually went, and when they returned. I had fashioned my days entire schedule around avoiding as many males in that palace as possible.

But this was one male I should never have ran into. I regretted not just stopping and allowing the beast who was chasing me moments earlier, to just have gotten on with it and eaten me. My chest was heaving, not so much with trying to catch my breath from exhaustion now, but more so in order to keep myself from hyperventilating. My arms were crossed around myself so tightly, I could feel my fingers going numb. What did he say? The word 'mate' kept flashing through my mind but I couldn't quite register it. It was as if I could hear but couldn't understand a thing.

He was stepping closer now. I could see his hands outreached, his eyes were gouging holes into my soul. The sun was beaming through the canopies of the trees overhead, making the rays splay out across the top of his head and parts of his face, making him look more dangerous and beautiful all at once. His facade couldn't fool me. I knew too many beasts in fae skin in my lifetime, and this was one of the most dangerous ones.

"Stay back."

My voice came out more like a cracked whisper than a demand. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to run. But he was no less than several feet away from me now, and I knew that when he got close enough, he was going to touch me. That was not something I was going to allow if I could help it. I may bow my head most of the time, but when I was backed into a corner, I would fight for my life. It had already saved me twice working in the Autumn Palace.

He did stop, slowly dropping his outreached arm back down. I saw something flicker in his eyes that made me shudder. Longing. I have seen it before in drunken bastards looking to get laid.

He said it again, sounding almost as confused as me. "You're my mate..."

I began to shake my head. "I'm sorry, High Lord. You must be mistaken. I feel nothing when I look at you."

They say that it almost feels like an electric jolt. Then some strange feeling overtakes you, that when you look upon your supposed mate, you instantly know. And from the way he looked and the way he was acting, it seemed as if he was feeling something. But I felt nothing but fear and discomfort from his gaze. I could easily acknowledge that he was beautiful. But so were many other High Fae. It isn't a rarity among our kind. And anything on the surface is usually a camouflage of what lies beneath. I have never spoken to a High Lord before. I have seen my own, charging down the halls and from or into his chambers, but I have never even received a glance or acknowledgment of existence up until now. And now here was Tamlin, High Lord of Spring, telling me that we are mates...

Maybe this was some insane horrendous dream. It definitely fit the situation. Being chased down my long-fanged beasts, then standing in a warm meadow with a beautiful but deadly High Lord telling me that..

"You... cannot feel the bond?" His voice had gone ragged. I could see his fists clench and unclench. I stared in a horrified fascination as I began to shake my head once more, afraid to meet his eyes again.

"No, Lord..." My voice was very quiet now. I was afraid of what was going to happen.

"You must come with me at once. I will send notice to the High Lord of Autumn, stating what has happened and see what price he will demand of allowing you to stay." His voice was hard now. Resolute in making a sudden decision.

A gasp escaped my throat before he could even finish speaking. "What?" I began taking more steps back now, shaking my head fervently. "No. This is some kind of mistake or trick. I have to get back. I will already be in trouble by the Head. At least two weeks of floor polishing or pulling weeds or..."

A growl flew from his lips, causing me to look him again in the eyes. He began to stalk towards me, making my heart jump into my chest. "You aren't going anywhere. You are my mate now. You will never have to do another day of work in your life."

"I-I'm sorry.. No. I can't. I don't feel anything for you. And you can't just take me away from my home." I was backed up right against a tree now, and as he got closer, the tighter my stomach clenched. There was something in the back of my mind beginning to scream _Don't let him touch you!_


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Three

 _(apologies, I was on a trip with my husband and a few family members back in his home country of Scotland. I saw the reviews and it made me want to just keep writing more chapters but we were way too busy and I had no access to a computer really. Thanks for the follows and reviews! Let's get back to Elen and Tamlin, shall we?)_

"I said STAY BACK!" My fangs were bared now and I was trembling more from anger now than fear. How dare this male, even if he is a High Lord, approach me in this way. "Did you not hear me? I said that I feel nothing towards you. And now you have the gull to dare take me from my home in a fit of longing? Believe it or not, High Lord, this is not only absurd but incredibly despicable. Have you no manners?" I wanted to bite my tongue as soon as the words escaped my thoughts, but even the High Lord of Autumns sons would have backed off at this point if I stabbed at their terrible pride. I was getting desperate to find a way to stop him from taking hold of me. I knew as soon as his skin made contact with mine I would be winnowed away. I don't know how, but I just knew it.

He did halt one more time, as his hand was mere inches away from reaching for my shoulder. I was trapped. I couldn't even run now. I would have to fight him to get away. And that would not turn out well for me seeing as he was in his beast form literally moments ago. I tried one more time, one last grasp at the rope before falling down into some terrifying, yawning pit with no knowing what was at the bottom.

"Please. Just stop and look at how you are acting towards me. We do not know each other. I am a handmaiden for Beron Hanserra's wife. You are acting like a possessive, drunken male. It is shameful."

Something passed over his eyes, as if something inside him flickered to life for a moment. In that split second, I felt a sense of hope before it flickered out just as quickly and he shook his head slowly. "For some reason the bond has not awakened in you yet. Maybe it's from the shock of being chased by that creature. Either way, I know what I feel. And you are my mate, Elen. We will get to know each other once we are back at my manor. Do not be afraid of me."

The last sound that came from me before he took hold of my upper arm was a quick intake of breath for a scream.

….

I had only winnowed with another one time. It was an underprivileged guardsman who saw me crying in a corridor after an encounter with Eris. My gown was torn and for some reason the guard took pity on me, and winnowed me to a nearby meadow to let me sort myself out. As for myself, I never tried winnowing. I would have been immediately let go if anyone saw me. It was seen as wrong for High Fae females of the Autumn Court to dabble in the affairs of what only males should be allowed to learn and do for combat purposes. I was always tempted to wander off into the woods and teach myself how to but the fear of being caught always overtook my curiosity until the longing eventually faded into the back of my mind along with everything else I wished to learn and know but would never be allowed.

This second time winnowing was as fast as the first time I remember, but much less comfortable due to circumstances. As soon as it was over, I wrenched myself free of him, stumbling away, holding my arm as if he burned it. "You son of a bitch!" I spat out. I could smell the overpowering scent of multiple kinds of flowers I have never known assaulting my senses. I glared at him, refusing to even look around me and gape at the green and variety of colors I could see in my peripheral vision. His eyes widened for a moment. I didn't care anymore. My life was threatened and he literally kidnapped me after saving my life. The former didn't forgive him for committing the latter. I could not decide if he was insane after the events of losing Feyre Oathbreaker and I was being pulled into this due to being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or if for some reason, we really were mates and I wasn't waking to the bond. If that was the case, I hoped it never awakened. I did not want to be with a male like this. Thousands of other High Fae females would fight to the death for being mated to a High Lord, not matter who he was, but not me. I already knew who he was before even being exposed to him for less than five minutes.

"Take me back. Now." I seethed at him. A growl escaped his throat before he grabbed my arm again, and began pulling me towards a massive set of doors.

"Stop being childish. This is your home now. Stop fighting me." His sentence cut to my heart and I began clawing at his hand with my free one, not caring if I drew blood.

"This is insane! I am not staying with you. I am not your mate!" My voice was turning to a pleading bleating and I could feel a familiar ache in the back of my throat that usually meant tears were about to ensue. He was taking me from everything I knew. Even if it wasn't much, I would be glad to work until old age took me in the Palace of Autumn than spend one night in this wretched home of Tamlin of the Spring Court.

He ignored me as the doors opened upon his whim, and I caught glimpses of what anyone else would view as a beautifully decorated home. But I was being dragged into a prison. And what happened behind closed doors would be my doom. As he pulled me across the threshold, I shot one last snarl out before blackness overtook me from some strange magic.

"No wonder she left you."


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 _In home prisoner_

(apologies for being so late on updating; our laptop suddenly decided to go kaput and we were forced to buy a new one -_- I still don't have my doc files so in order to go back for reference I have to read my own work on Fanfiction. Thanks for your patience, and I will try to do longer chapters! As requested.)

Something moved beneath my cheek. It felt like some kind of creature was beneath whatever soft and comfortable thing my head rested on. I had had many nightmares, I knew this from brief flashes of fangs and someone with golden hair turning into a beast giving chase. I was glad I had forgotten the rest already. My eyes hadn't even opened yet but I knew there was another presence beside me. I had never felt this since I used to lay with my mother when I was a child. It was unsettling. No one was actually pressed up against me but I could feel the weight in the bed beside me, and the stirring of the sheets with someone's breathing other than my own. I could feel myself go still, my breathing wanting to come out in more frequent breaths due to a stab of panic beginning to consume me. It took everything I had to keep my breath in check as someone who would still be asleep. Very, very slowly I let my eyes flutter open, knowing that he would be right in front of me. My only hope was that he truly was still asleep as he seemed to be from the cadence of his breath.

The first thing that hit me was the brightness. It made my eyes squeeze back shut for several moments before I had the bravery to force them open again. This wasn't what a morning in the Autumn Court usually had. It was either misty mornings with dewy grass and cold breath, or being awoken by thunder trembling through lightning ridden skies, while rain pattered mercilessly at your window. This kind of brightness was TOO bright. Like the sun was too close to the earth and everything was about to catch alight. I could hear birds in the background as well. Many different kinds that I had never heard before. I usually fell asleep to the sound of owls, and woke to maybe a Turkey gobbling off in the distance somewhere, or a rooster.

I squinted away the bright rays of the sun that seemed to be moving through a breeze ridden curtain flapping from an open window over my head. It would have been rather beautiful to wake up to if there wasn't a beast in human form no less than two feet away from me, his head tilted to the side facing away, lying on his back with his hand carelessly tucked beneath my pillow, hence the moving that woke me up.

His hair was strewn across his pillow like long golden strands of sunlight itself. From what I could see of the room behind him, it was large with vaulted ceilings and large vases filled with every color of flower you could imagine, placed upon decorative tables across the room. There also seemed to be a doorway that lead into a bathing area in the back corner as well. From what I could see through the doorway, the lavatory looked almost as big as this room. Which had to be the size of a well-off lord's living room. This must be his sleeping quarters. I could feel a shudder wanting to make it's way down my spine but I grit my teeth and held it in check.

He had no shirt on, and I didn't want to see what might not be on beneath the sheets that surreptitiously covered half his torso and downward. I did a check of myself, seeing if there was any pain in any area where there shouldn't be. I couldn't feel that anything was different, and from a careful glance downward, I was clothed. Not in the clothes that I had before, but if I found out that it was he who undressed me, I would make sure that I left this sun and flower drenched manor with a High Lord's head tucked beneath one arm.

The anger was coming back now that the grogginess from waking up was beginning to break away. He took me. He didn't listen when I protested and now I was in this male's house, lying in bed beside him with a look on his face that the world was perfectly content and all was well. No guilt, not shame. Just pure bliss. I stared at him in silence as I began to force myself to think above the screams of anger in my mind. I wanted to tear his throat out. I wanted to see his blood stain the white sheets before I walked out the front door. I had never felt a rage like this in my entire life. Yes, I would lie awake at night sometimes and wish that the entire corrupted Autumn Court would burn to the ground. But this was different. This was endless; a pit with no bottom to it. A wildfire that would keep burning until it took the world with it.

Obviously the High Lord of Spring had truly gone insane after what happened with Feyre. The rumors of his betrayal to the Kingdom must have been true, because only someone with no heart and no common sense would deem it fit to take a female High Fae from another court, claiming she was his mate even though she felt nothing for him. I would not be the victim in that story. I may have been silent throughout my life when I desperately wanted to speak up, but this was different. This wasn't someone teasing me in class for wanting to be the best, or a male attempting to put his hands all over me. This was my entire life crashing down. Maybe I wouldn't die today, but there are things worse than death. The traditions of High Lords immediately bedding their mates in order to begin to breed Male Fae to have an heir was one of the lighter stories. And from what I had heard of Tamlin while being in the same room at the time there were discussions, he definitely seemed to sway towards his father's beliefs even though he claimed to not be like him. His evidence was clear with what happened with his last love.

I had closed my eyes while these thoughts assaulted me. My heartbeat was racing faster and faster as I began to fall into this chasm of whispers telling me what horrendous fate awaited me. No. I would get out of here. Even if it meant suicide. I would not be another of the thousands who were cast aside in order to keep a lineage going. This is exactly why I avoided males in the first place. They thought about themselves and only themselves and it was evident in every face I saw from the Autumn Court Palace's halls to this very bedroom with the High Lord of Spring.

My eyes automatically snapped open at the sudden movement in the bed. A strong arm suddenly was over my waist and I was being pulled up against this insane stranger. As soon as he made contact I began struggling, doing everything I could to get out of his grip as well as the tangled sheets around my legs.

A grunt came from his throat as his eyes began to open and he peered at me. I was pushing at his chest, growling as I began to attempt to kick him as I tried to roll out of the bed at the same time. "Get. OFF!"

He kind of stared at me for a moment before I felt nothing behind me, causing me to fall backwards. The ground came up to hit me fast and I could feel the air get knocked from my lungs as I landed right on my back on polished hardwood floors. I could hear scrabbling from the other side of the room as I was trying to gasp for air. He quickly came around the end of the bed as I was pushing myself up. I was in some sort of nightgown. It wasn't incredibly revealing, but the way my legs had sprawled out made me grappling to keep myself covered while trying to stand up before he could get to me.

He was definitely a beast in human form. His muscles tensed with each breath as he looked down at me with an incredibly infuriating look of worry in his eyes. Nothing but briefs covered him, other than that his bare chest and legs were exposed to me. It made me look away immediately, not in embarrassment, but in the refusal at the fact that this was really happening.

"A-are you alright?" He took as step forward and I immediately put myself into a defensive stance. I was eyeing the closed door behind him. Debating on how quickly he would grab me if I attempted to run around him and get to it.

"You slept beside me. Do you think I am alright?" The reply ripped from the back of my throat, ending in a rather loud volume. I could see him wince and he stepped back from me again.

"I apologize... You were getting into hysterics. I didn't know what to do to calm you down so I... but then you ended up staying asleep the entire night. I came in a few hours before dawn to check on you, but I must have fallen asleep beside you before I could make it back." He was glancing down at the floor repetitively and was even putting his hand on the back of his neck out of some weird act of trying to come off as innocent.

I glared at him and he crossed his arms out of some sort of discomfort. "You expect me to have a positive reaction towards you forcibly putting me to sleep? And on top of that, you also expect me to BELIEVE that you just so happened to fall asleep in the bed while you were just 'checking up on me'?"

I let out a snort. "I have met many disgusting males who make it a daily habit to lie about such things, High Lord. Do not think you are the first I have met who would try to get away with a terrible excuse of a lie like that."

His brows furrowed, and I was already done talking. I didn't care what he was trying to get me to believe. I was leaving. This instant. Even if he tried to stop me, I was not going to come quietly or cower and allow this male to keep me here.

"I really didn't mean to. I could feel you were upset and I wanted to take it away. I was worried when you had still not awoken." His voice sounded like a woman trying to calm down a yapping dog. I shook my head and began to walk towards the doorway. He stepped back, actually allowing me to pass. I almost faltered out of the surprise, but took the advantage and began to run.

As I raced down the hallway, looking for a staircase or a way out of this maze of doorways and halls, I could hear him begin to shout and his bare feet hitting the floor alongside mine not far off.

"You can't leave! We are mates. You have nowhere to go now. I have already contacted the High Lord of Autumn!" My excitement at maybe having a chance of escaping began to turn into panted breaths of panic. I saw a set of stairs not far up ahead and began to sprint.

Someone grabbed the scruff of my nightgown but I wrenched free and half stumbled, half leaped down the stairs, I could see a pair of double doors at the end, with windows on each side, showing that cursed sunlight leaking through. The entrance. _Yes! If I can just make it out those doors...-_

Hands suddenly wrapped around my waist and I began to scream. It was an ungodly scream and the sound of it actually terrified me more than the person holding me back from the doorway. I began kicking and wrenching myself in any way to get free once again. A deep voice was in my ear, as if in some sick way trying to be soothing.

"Did you not hear what I said? You are no longer of the Autumn Court. I made a deal. You belong to the Spring Court now. There is no home for you to go back to."

My body suddenly went limp in his arms. No home. A deal. What did he do to get my High Lord to keep me? Did he really believe that we were mates? How is it that he has been deaf to what I have been saying this entire time?

"I am not your mate!" I began to half yell, half whimper. The sobs were beginning to rip from my throat, coming in quick and painful gasps. "How do you not understand what I have been saying this entire time? I feel NOTHING for you!" The shudders from the sobs were beginning to wrack me as I grappled with his arms enclosed around my waist. "You have taken me away from my home. You are nothing more than a stranger to me. A High Lord of the Spring Court. I owe no allegiance to you nor do I have any feelings of anything similar to a mating bond!" I was not able to get my words out without stuttering in between every few. "I loath you. Let me go!"

The arms around my waist suddenly dropped me, and for the second time that morning, I fell to the floor; this time on my hands and knees.

"Stop this. If what you are saying is true, it is because you are fighting the bond for some reason. I know what we are to each other and once you feel what I am feeling you will feel incredibly silly for this outburst, Elen." His voice was somehow lower now. Bordering on what sounded to be near anger. I raised my head and stared at the doors in front of me, somehow taunting me just by their own existence. It was right there. My way out. Even if I truly did have no home to go back to now. Even if I would get tossed back at the border, I had to at least try to get out. Maybe there was somewhere in the woods I could hide until everything died down and I could sneak out somewhere. If not through the Autumn Court, then maybe through the Summer Court. Maybe they would let me claim sanctuary... No. If Tamlin claimed I was his mate they wouldn't dare keep me for it would be a claim to war. No one would ever do that especially after this truce after everything that happened with Hybern. No one could keep me safe. I truly had no where I could go unless I was able to rely upon myself. And I had no experience in the wilderness. I knew nothing of what was poisonous, or if tracks meant that I was the hunter or the hunted. I would die within a mere few days. I... I was trapped. Like he said... I have nowhere to go.

I looked away from the doors now. Their taunting turned into something so unbearable that it made it feel like something deep within my chest was cracking. It hurt. I couldn't hear my own sobs now. Everything had gone eerily silent in my own ears. I could hear my intakes of air over the sobs, and they were loud. But the room was fading from my view and I could feel the last of my hope begin to trickle out of my body. The same pair of arms that had held me back from the doors now were lifting me up and carrying me back up the stairs. I could see a few servants in my peripheral vision watching me with blank faces. I turned away out of what was left of my shame and closed my eyes. I kept them closed for a very, very long time.

I could hear someone trying to talk to me after I had been laid back in the bed, but even if they took me by the shoulders and tried to shake me, it just made me close more and more in on myself. Eventually even the words faded away, and I did not open my eyes again until the room was completely dark. It was blessedly empty. The only reason I roused myself out of my last defense against what was happening to me was so I could get up and use the lavatory. After I had finished, and brushed my teeth out of some weird self-obligation, I washed my face and stepped back into the cool, dark room. But I was no longer alone. I didn't hear them enter. I knew it was him again, and all I could do was stare. I couldn't see his face, but it was definitely a male and the only male it would be would be him. Tamlin.

The figure stood in the shadows, watching me for several moments. I wondered if he thought I couldn't see him at first. But when it began to get unbearable enough to where I was sure that his intentions for tonight were far more sinister and my knees began to tremble, he stepped forward, the moonlight from the waning moon shining across his features just enough to make me go slack-jawed. It wasn't Tamlin. It was someone else... he had dark, hair, making it look black in the lighting. He was wearing a leather outfit that seemed to be for fighting. His body was well shaped and he had these things across his hands and arms that looked like gems of some sort. He stared for a few more moments before looking me up and down. That was when I could see the wings flutter softly behind him, rustling slightly. He was an Illyrian. My heart jumped into my throat. The rumors of what Illyrians did to their women was beyond repulsive and suddenly I realized that this situation could be even worse than the one I was already in. I began to take steps back, planning to shut the door to the lavatory, even though I knew it wouldn't last for more than one kick from his muscular legs. But maybe that would wake someone in time to-

"Are you Elen, mate of the High Lord of Spring, Tamlin?"

His voice was soft, but cold. Assessing as if all he wanted was a confirmation. I could barely hear him. I knew at once he was trying to be silent in order to keep Tamlin from hearing any sound coming from my room that would cause him to investigate.

My voice cracked from my earlier sobbing. "My name is Elen... but that monster is not my mate. How have you come to hear of this?" He was silent for a painfully long moment once again, and it felt as if he were somehow searching my thoughts.

"It has spread across the continent that Tamlin has found his mate. As soon as he made the deal with the Autumn court, messengers were spread out far and wide at the news. I was coming for confirmation under the orders of my High Lady." I could feel something inside of my fall away into that ever growing chasm.

Everyone knew. Or... they THOUGHT they knew. No one really knew... I was a prisoner here. A madman had taken me. I crossed my arms over my chest and bowed me head. "I see..." was all that could escape my mouth. I wanted to scream. I wanted to beg him to take me away. But there was only one High Lady as of yet. And that meant this was one of Rhysand's Illyrian council members. And they had nothing to do with the Spring Court compared to all others. I was alone in this. Truly.

"I will return tomorrow night... I see what has plagued you. And I will inform my High Lady and High Lord of what has befallen you. Do not lose hope just yet... Elen." My head snapped up in the darkness, wanting to look into this strangers eyes who had just some something incredibly evil. He gave me hope. But no one could fight a High Lord for his 'mate's' escape. Not unless they wanted to claim war. And I was not worth that. I...

The male was smiling. I could not deny that it was a beautiful smile. He bowed his head once before disappearing from sight. It looked as if he had bled into the shadows.

I was left alone in the darkness once again. But one thing I now knew. I would at least make sure I survived until tomorrow night. It was all I had left.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

 _What is Right_

"All I'm saying is, I wish you would have just run it by me, Feyre."

Rhysand, High Lord of Night was laying across from his High Lady with his arm draped across his eyes as if he were some sort of dramatic actor. When, in reality, he was still hung over from the drinks he had shared with Cassian and Mor last night. Feyre and Amren had been in the Library tunnels, deciding on what to do next with the new alliances, looking over history books in order to find things that may have worked in the distant past, or things that HADN'T worked in order to avoid trying a bad idea all over again that would result in disaster.

"I AM running it by you. Right now." She huffed, sitting up while clutching a steaming hot cup of tea between her hands. "You are my mate. And my High Lord. But I am also High Lady, so if I ask Az to run an errand for me, I shouldn't have to 'run it by you' before making an order." Her brows were furrowed and Rhys finally pushed himself up to face her. His black button up shirt was rumpled, with a few buttons at the top haphazardly open, exposing his collar bone and the top of his pectorals. It made Feyre scowl even more, looking away in order to stay focused on the conversation that seemed to be turning into an argument.

"Yes, and that's perfectly fine. I am not telling you to ask for my permission to make orders. You are my Queen, my darling." He stared directly into my eyes, and I could feel my shoulders slump at what I knew he was going to say next. "All I ask of you to put into consideration is that when you decide to have our friend infiltrate the Spring court, less than several months after the war, where we haven't exchanged words since the meeting, it would be appreciated if you ran it by me to help you make sure that the reasons for doing so are solid. As well as ensuring any plans in case it fell apart for any reason." His voice was firm, but I knew he was more offended that I hadn't included him due to his wishing to assist.

I sighed and stared down at the cup, the steam rising up and warming my face. "I understand... I suppose your help would have been appreciated." I paused for a moment, allowing the shaking in my hands to subside at the sudden thought of what I was going to say next.

"It's just... I couldn't help but feel afraid for her..." I bit the inside of my cheek and I could feel Rhys's eyes on me, not wanting to feel that flicker of familiar remorse. I thought it was gone. This was supposed to be over. And it was. For me. But what if it wasn't? What if it was just the beginning of something even worse for someone else? How could I just sit here?

I cleared my throat. "There is something inside of him. It's... dark. Or gray at least. A blindness. A selfishness. And... I know I don't have to say this. You already know. But even though he helped us during the war with Hybern.. and what he did for me and As when we infiltrated the camp.. and what he did for you..." My voice broke there.

I shook my head and straightened my shoulders, finally looking him in the eyes. All I saw was an openness. A love, a pure and complete understanding. No confusion, no adamant. It made me want to tear across the room and bury my face in his chest. I felt like a child.

"But I can't shake this feeling, Rhys... there is something broken there. And it was broken before I ever arrived. How can we be so sure that … that it was just something with me. He was so protective. Almost started a damned internal Court War after I left. I can't bear to imagine how he would be with his own mate..."

It was his turn to bow his head. He was leaned forward, legs spread with his elbows resting on his knees. His hands were now clasped as he stared at the hardwood floor.

"I know... and if he is in any way acting that way he had with you.." He ran his fingers through his already mussed hair. "All I am trying to come across with here is that even if there is any sign of her being hurt in any way... Feyre. Is it really our business?" A sharp intake of breath flew into my lungs as soon as the words left his mouth. But before I could even register what he had said, the double doors to our chambers opened. Az.

I stood, the tea in my hands being clutched so tightly I had to start focusing on not shattering the glass of boiling hot liquid. He looked fine. A bit tired, but there was something in his eyes... even before he set both feet in the room, my stomach clenched.

He bowed his head to me, then Rhys as he stood and faced him as well.

"It's as you thought." Az said it simply, but I knew him well enough now that the reason for him saying it so simply was because he was worried. I could see it in his eyes. There was a tension there. He had witnessed something wrong.

I looked to Rhys, trying to hold back images of my own memories of that fated day trying to resurface. Flashes of running through the halls. The doors. But I couldn't get through them. Darkness. I grit my teeth as Rhys looked at me, his head snapping at the sudden interference he must have felt in my normal stream of emotions. His eyes were focused. I wanted to wait on what he would say, seeing as, all in all. I had been right. I had no need to say anything.

"What did you see?" He sounded tense. I could see the tightness in his shoulder, and his wings were twitching even though they were pulled in in perfect posture as usual.

"She seems to be trapped. She isn't his mate. At least..." He hesitated. "Not in her own eyes. I did a quick scour of her mind. She went over the Spring Court border after being chased by a beast that shouldn't have been there. That's where Tamlin found her. He is convinced she is his mate. I have never seen or heard of anything like this. The way he acted... it seemed as if he really does feel a mating bond. But she feels nothing. Nothing but fear and anger. He took her away from her only home. She worked in the Palace of Autumn. She has no immediate family left or real friends but I could feel her loneliness and despair. She already tried to..." He paused and looked at me as if her didn't want to say it in my presence. "She has already tried to run. He won't let her leave. She has no where to go."

The silence filled the room so completely that all I could do was stare at him, waiting for something light hearted to escape his lips. Maybe I would wake up and this would be some bizarre play my subconscious decided to throw at me.

Rhys sat back down slowly, his head back in his hands. "We can't just... I know what you want to do Feyre. I already know. But this is... it's just like you said, yourself. He almost started an internal war when Mor took you. Can you imagine what would happen if we just barged in and took his... or at least, what he PERCIEVES to be his mate away? He would know. We could send Az back in tonight and he could steal her away and we could hide her up in the cabin. Or somewhere that he would never see her again. But he would know, Feyre. He would know it was us. Because we are the only ones who would have the audacity to act upon this."

My fingers were beginning to scald as the tea in my cup began to start boiling. But I didn't feel it. "That's exactly the point isn't it... we ARE the only ones who would do anything." Something that should have burned my feet was now dripping down my dress. The glass had shattered. But not from my squeezing it. It had heated to the point in which it could not handle it anymore. The shards sizzled as they hit the hardwood floors beneath my feet. Rhys watched me with a look of knowing. He knew I wasn't hurt by my own magic.

"There is a fae woman trapped in that manor just as I was. I was lucky enough to have someone... a friend..." I could not help but send him a small feeling of appreciation through the bond. "Someone who snuck in and saved me from my own demise. But she is already worse off than I am. If it is as you saw, Az, then we need to get her out of there. She doesn't feel a bond... what if it's some sort of dark magic? A curse or something?"

Az cut in. "I told her I would come back.. tonight. I can do it. He has shields up all over the manner, but they were easy enough to get through. As long as he doesn't suspect anything, I can get more information for you. It could help with figuring out a plan for how we will proceed."

Rhys was silent, but I was already nodding. "Do it. I think I already have an idea, but I need to see if you can find out how Tamlin feels a mating bond but she does not. If there really is no bond, then maybe Tamlin is somehow a victim in this as well. But if it is a bond and she still wants out..." I refused to look at Rhys as the air around me began to turn as hot as an oven. The anger coursing through me. "I will get her out of there myself, even have to do it alone."

….

"You look enchanting." His voice was low, and I could feel his eyes piercing right through me all the way from across the table. Two handmaids had came in later in the day after taking away my midday meal that I couldn't touch even if I wanted to, and sent me to bathe. Afterwards they had taken over and dressed and primped me as if I were some spoiled consort. It made me sick.

Now I was staring down at a plate filled with various meats and vegetables, while arrays of different fresh breads and other hot dishes were scattered across the table all the way down to where the Spring Lord sat. He wasn't far away enough. The pale gray and silver dressing gown for dinner, with silver slippers and the brush of matching eye shadow across my lids made me feel like a bloody gazel lying in a meadow with a pride of lions.

At first I had fought them. Wrenching my arms away but when the older fae female said she would have to get Tamlin in here to calm me down, I immediately quieted down. Whether she did it on purpose in order to achieve that affect, or she really did think that Tamlin would be my source of assurance for some reason, I didn't care. I would sit and let someone cut all my hair off if they wished if it meant keeping him away for even a moment more.

A sigh let out across the table and I could feel it slightly move as he set his elbows forward, as if he were about to give some great speech. Everything he did was condescending towards me. He really did think I was some pretty little woman who just so happened to be his mate. His ticket to a free fu-

"Elen. I know you feel nothing towards me but hate. I can feel it through the bond." My head snapped up at that. How? How can he feel what I feel? I had no attraction towards this male let alone something like a mating bond.

"I can feel how afraid you are in my presence." His voice shook slightly at this. He truly was a beautiful creature. His crown atop his head as if it were rightly to be there at all times. But it disgusted me more. Like an animal who was beautiful to draw in it's prey.

"I do not know what to do... I do not know why you cannot feel the bond. I would do anything to have it snap in place. Have you had any past trauma that might be keeping you from..." He stared at me, pausing suddenly. His nostrils flared slightly, like a dog sniffing out a trail.

Before I could intake a breath, he was on his feet and walking towards me. _There is no way.. he couldn't smell the Illyrian male in the room last night. He wasn't even in the same space as me... I washed thoroughly. I made sure I did._

"I smell something familiar on your clothes..." He kept sniffing the air. It made me start to squirm slightly. I couldn't lose my only chance. Even if it was an impossible chance. He was right beside me now, his gold and brown robe brushing my thigh as he leaned over me, his palm on the table nest to my flatware. I stared at his hand. Clean, strong. As I stared, I could feel my pupils dilate in horror as claws slowly began to push their way from the beds of his nails. Sharp, wicked claws. The ones he used to slash that creature apart. Would he do that to me? I wasn't sure if it was fear or excitement at the thought. At least I would be free of him. There are things worse than death.

A growl sounded in my ear and I finally looked into his eyes. The most vivid green overtook me. Green as fresh moss. The center chasm of black was terrifying, like some endless black pool in the center of a forest.

"What are you hiding from me, Elen?" His voice was as calm as death. I forced a confused expression.

"I am afraid that you are really confusing me, High Lord. How can I hide something from you in your own home?" Another snarl resounded and his fangs were bared, that hand on the table suddenly clenching my arm.

"I can SMELL one of those Illyrian bastards on you. It's one smell I will never forget. From the night it was in my house when my parents were slaughtered, to the one who took my..." He suddenly let go of my arm and practically flew past me.

"It doesn't matter. I will go to my chambers and confirm it myself. You wouldn't tell me the truth anyways in your state."

I didn't know why, but suddenly I was standing and I was running after him. The swish of my dress against my thighs and ankles feeling like sheets tangled around my legs at the idea that came across my mind. _No! Please, No!_ Something inside of me screamed at the thought. But this was my only chance. I could not let him snuff out my only chance.

"Tamlin.." I said his name aloud. And it made my throat burn. I was at the bottom of the stairs, he was already halfway up.

He halted as if held still by some invisible string.

I took hold of the banister and slowly began to ascend up the stairs towards him as he turned around, the claws now fully extended. There was a feral look in his eyes, but he watched me as I made it two steps below where he was, looking up at him, feeling something inside of me building to the point of breaking.

"I..." I took a short breath, not believing what was about to escape my lips. "I don't know what's going on but... I feel something. Looking into your eyes..." My voice caught in my throat.

A look of confusion flashed across his features. "Whether that is true or not, someone has been in my home. In my room. Where you were staying. And I will not stand for it." He turned away again, but my hand snapped forward, taking hold of his hand.

"There was no one. I swear upon everything I hold dear in this world. I saw no one. I would have screamed." I took another step up, holding his stare. "Let me come look with you, at least."

He watched me with some sort of fascination alighting his face. "Fine..." He held hold of my hand, and it took everything I had to not wrench it free. Hiding the disgust was hard enough. I had to think of something fast. This was a terrible plan.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

 _He Came By Night_

I could tell that Tamlin was still suspicious of me. And from the rumors of how Rhys had stolen Feyre away right in the middle of their wedding ceremony, to be perfectly honest, I could not find fault in his suspicion. But it did not bode well for me in the morning. He stormed my entire quarters that had been gifted to me, and went right to the spot where the Illyrian male had stood before whirling on me with an accusatory onslaught of questions that demanded straight answers.

"He was right here... it wasn't Rhysand but it was one of his own closest members of his personal court. Did you see him?" He was so abrupt, and I could see his fangs protruding from his mouth. Not his fae fangs either. These terrifying fangs that I had seen on a large cat once when I was traveling with my Lady. It was in a cage, but even more intimidating to see so close up. His claws were already half protruded from his fingers as well. I was afraid that the beast he had torn apart within a matter of second from a few days ago would soon be me.

"No. I have seen no one other than you and your house staff since my... arrival." I wanted to say kidnapping, but I was already treading on needles at this point. I could feel my entire body begin to have slight tremors run throughout it. Relying on my skills with deceit had never been more terrifying than this single moment in my life thus far.

A growl ripped from his throat as he stormed right at me. "Look me in the eyes. Swear upon your life that you didn't see an Illyrian male in this room. He was here last night."

I knew that if I even allowed one moment of weakness, he would be upon me. He was heaving now. His eyes practically glowing just as that large cats eyes did. I very slowly, and as calmly as possible looked right up into the eyes of Tamlin, High Lord of the Spring Court, and held his gaze. It was like looking into the eyes of pure madness and hatred. He was consumed by it. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

"I swear upon my mothers soul. I did not see anyone in this room last night." Magically, my voice was somehow able to keep from quivering. Which was the most astounding part of this entire scenario due to the fact that I could feel the black around my vision wanting to take over. I felt faint. It killed me to swear upon my mother, but in the end, she was dead. What would she do about my lying. Come back as a ghost and scold me?

He stared and stared into my eyes to the point in which I swore he could somehow smell my lie. I was prepared for him to feel him wrap his jaw around my throat before ripping it free from my body, but no. Instead, his heaving breaths slowly began to die down. His fangs pulling back. Claws slowly retreating. His green irises were now all I could see.

A new fear arose in me. He was so close to my face at this point, I was afraid he was going to finish off the last inch or so between us and kiss me. The image in my mind was more horrifying than him ripping out my spleen. I quickly took a step back, playing the demure maiden.

He finally broke the silence. "Fine. But you aren't sleeping alone anymore. I will not allow you to be alone in your quarters until I feel you are safe to be by yourself."

I felt as if he had punched me in the gut so hard that I couldn't breathe.

"What?!" Now I was the one who was snarling.

"Cauldron, No! If you are so worried about me being alone, place guards outside my door. Gods, even have a handmaiden sleep on the floor beside my bed but I will now allow a male to -"

"This isn't a discussion. It's an order. You may find my ways callous and a bit forward, but it isn't for the reason you may think. I have had..." He paused, eyes suddenly downcast before pulling himself back together. "I have dealt with things like this before. This is the only way I can ensure that you will not be taken from me as someone else once was."

My fear had bubbled down into anger and bitterness. Still refusing to accept the fact that he thought it was his 'duty' to sleep beside me in my own bed.

"You mean Feyre Oathbreaker?" Her name struck him, almost as if it was a slap to the face. He looked at me, with astonishment and slowly rising malice.

"Everyone knows about what happened between you and her. And High Lord Rhysand. Everyone knows the deal you struck with the King. What you did to her sisters. You tried to force her into submission to you by promising -" Before I knew it, I was pressed against the wall, his hands pinning me by my upper arms, his fangs once again in my face, his entire body was trembling.

"Don't you EVER speak of what happened. You were not in this household. You were not of this court. You have no idea the pain and suffering I went through to get her back... and then to lose her again. Her lies. Her tricks. Don't you ever act as if you are worthy enough to know..." And suddenly, his head was bowed, and he had let me go, hands dropping just as suddenly as they had held me.

"...I didn't want this to begin this way. I have dreamed for so long of how I would meet my mate. How happy it would be... but... this is all wrong. You don't share the same feeling somehow... and I can see in your eyes, when you look at me, all you see is a monster. I terrify you... don't I?" He looked back up at me. I did everything in my power to pull up some sort of remorse for him... but... there was something in his eyes. A desperation. Not a selfless kind either. Nor a hopeless sort. It was... he wanted me to see something in him. And I could not see it because it was not there. What it was, I cannot ever say.

I stared right back, my heartbeat reverberating through my entire body as I tried to calm myself once more.

"You took me from my home. You did not listen to me when I pleaded with you. You won't let me outside. You have me watched at all times. The only solace I have is in this room... this prison you say is my bedroom. Then you come to me, accusing me of things, and to end it all. You then claim that I will be sharing a bed with you every night for... however long you deem necessary. I have told you; over and over and OVER that I feel no connection to you. No longing, no wanting, no kind of attraction, much less love... and here you stand before me. Threatening and dangerous. And now you seem to want some kind of pity?" My voice had gotten so soft that the only way I knew he could hear me was by the way he was watching me as I spoke.

"How dare I? No. How dare YOU, High Lord. My life may not have been perfect before meeting you. I might not even miss the palace of Autumn and those terrible brothers and the stifling rules and regulations, but even there, I could run. I always could run. How dare you try to bind me and entrap me in this place." I was standing up straighter now. He had even taken a step back.

"You are correct. I don't exactly know what happened in this walls of this place between you and the now High Lady of Night. But I do know this: If she dealt with even the smallest amount of what I have seen from you upon my first impression, to this very moment... you deserved it. You deserved her treachery. And I think you know that... don't you?"

…...

"There. You have the bed all to yourself now. Happy?" Tamlin was only in a pair of britches as he climbed into the cot looking bed beside mine. And I wasn't happy. He was going to come tonight.. he said he would. And it will be as if I had set a trap for him. The Illyrian. Azriel. Rhysand's friend and member of his court. I could not shake the fear of his death being upon my hands if he were to keep his promise and appear in the room as he had last night.

I stayed upright in the bed, glancing off to the side of the moonlight shining through the cracks of the curtains of the only window in the room. I could hear Tamlin moving around under his blankets, with a final huff. I stared and stared at that moonlight. Just as I had stared at the sunshine, and the green grass, and the trees off in the distance calling my name. I could not help but wonder if Feyre had done the same thing in this manor. If she had had different quarters, or maybe if at one given time, she had been in this same room, in this same bed, staring out the same window longingly, wishing for someone to save her. And she did. How lucky she ought to know she was in having that.

I could not even force myself to lay down and lie still to even pretend to sleep. There was a dread building in the pit of my stomach that was beginning to turn into such an ache I could feel tears threatening from behind the corners of my eyes. But I couldn't cry. I had to think of something. I couldn't just lie here in wait with Tamlin and allow my only chance at freedom to be caught and killed. It was still rather early in the night. When Azriel arrived it was not for at least a few more hours.

I finally laid down as I allowed a plan to unfold in the labyrinth of my mind. I could not pretend to need to leave. Everything I could possibly need that wouldn't be ridiculous was already in these quarters. Even if I did leave, he would still show up in this room most likely. How could I get Tamlin... out, then. Think Eren.

I was squeezing my eyes shut when there was a sudden sharp knock at the door. I shot up in my bed just as Tamling did in his cot. He was already on his feet and to the door before I could even inhale. Please don't let it be...

But it wasn't. It was one of his personal guards whose name I did not yet know. He was bowing before Tamlin could even fully open the door with a snarl. "What." It was a demand, not a question.

"My Lord Tamlin... I apologize, sir, but we have had a breach in the perimeter of the manor. There is something skulking around near the gardens. But it's too fast. We believe it might be one of the Night Court's ilk. It looks as if it's made from shadows..." He then glanced past Tamlin as he stood straight again and made eye contact with me before looking away quickly.

Tamlin didn't even speak. Within a single instance he was changing into the skin and hide of the beast I had first witnessed him in. The guard barely managed to stagger out of the way as Tamlin tore down the halls with a roar of pure loathing. The guard quickly followed suit, not even bothering to look back.

I was in shock. Why... would he appear in the garden? What...-

"My lady..."

A whisper that sounded like a frozen wind from winter floated across the room from the window I was just staring at moments ago. But now it was slightly ajar, and a figure loomed outside; someone was crouching in the windowsill.

"Please. Hurry. He will be back within moments. He will know it's a trick." My heart leaped at the realization of what had just occurred. That clever winged thing, him. I got out of bed and ran towards the window as quickly as possible, but knew not to open it further than necessary so as to not draw suspicion.

"You came back..." A sob ripped from the back of my throat, and I had to cover my mouth with my hand so as to not allow another to escape. I couldn't cry. I couldn't allow a trace to be tracked.

"Yes..." The voice sounded softer now, almost comforting before continuing. "I need you to listen closely for I only have a few seconds to spare." Another roar sounded off to what must have been the opposite side of the house.

"We cannot take you from inside the manor. It is too risky. Too many barriers. And would be a clear signal to war between the Night and Spring Courts. My High Lady and Lord... we all wish to help you. But this cannot be done so simply. You need to meet us at the border of the summer court. In one week. At this exact time of night. Head straight for the summer court. We will send you details of the location and how to get there in three days time." His voice was going faster and faster as he spoke. But I could feel my heart beginning to shatter.

"I... I can't. He won't even let me leave the manor let alone the grounds. And even if I could, I wouldn't be able to get there on foot by myself..." I wanted to scream. I wanted to fling open the window and beg him to just take me then. But the more logical side of me knew that would be begging for open war. For putting them all in more jeopardy than they already have done and will do for me.

There was a brief pause, and I could have sworn I heard a soft yet deadly anger in his voice as he spoke again.

"He won't let you leave the manor at all?"

"No..." I said it so softly. I clutched at my sides.

"Cauldron..." he swore to himself as I heard a crashing from downstairs.

"Three days. We will find a way. Wait for the message. I swear upon my life. I will get you out of this hell." And suddenly the window snapped closed and I practically flew back under my covers just as Tamlin, now in half beast, half fae form, tore into the room. The door flew off of the hinges and hit the wall opposite of the bedroom.

I was frozen in fear as he stormed towards me, ripping the blankets off of me before grabbing me by my chin and examining me in a way that had a slight whimper escape from my mouth.

"Where. Is. He." His lips were almost brushing against mine as he snarled in my face. I let out a sob of fear as I could feel his fingers gripping my jaw so tightly there was almost certainly going to be bruises by morning.

"W—what are you talking about? Wasn't he in the garden?" I somehow managed to stammer. He tossed me away from him in disgust before letting out a cry of anger unlike anything I had heard before. At this point I was just bawling. I clambered off the opposite side of the bed and crawled into the corner furthest from him, curling up in a bawl and sobbing. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to hear him. I had nowhere to go and nowhere to run. I was trapped in a room with the most terrifying monster I could never have imagined to possibly exist. And I was his mate.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

 _Festering_

"It was outright abhorrent. I couldn't even leave for the fear of wondering if after I had left, something worse would happen. I just stood pressed against the wall of the manor while he threw a childish fit. It took everything in me to keep from going in and..." Az paused. Rhysand hadn't seen him this upset over something since the battle.

"Let's just say I was very close to beheading the High Lord of Spring. What made it worse was her crying. She was terrified. She sounded so utterly at loss of hope and broken." He shoulders were rising quickly enough to tell he was still extremely upset even though it had been several hours since the second attempt at contacting Eren.

"We have to think of some way to get her out of there. I promised her three days. I am afraid of even that. What if he moves her? What if he locks her away somewhere else and we have no way of knowing where he put her? Or what if he completely loses it and ends up hurting her beyond repair-"

"Azriel." Cassian's voice rang out. He had been eerily silent this whole time. He had just learned of what was going on after returning from our home to check on the new female Illyrian warriors and seemed more passive and inverted than he had been since Rhys was still trapped Under the Mountain.

"Maybe it would be best if you went out and cooled off for a moment. We understand that something has to be done. We will make contact with her again and do what we can to get her to safety but you must calm yourself. All you are doing is getting everyone more agitated and upset. If you want to help the girl, think. Focus."

He sounded as if he were training some youngling. And Azriel glowered at him. He finally sat down at the table beside Rhysand, making it noted that he was most definitely not going out to 'calm down.' But he would attempt to settle himself.

"I had hoped that... maybe after everything he had done and everything he had put himself through... me through.. even Lucien through. After helping bring back Rhys..." Feyre was sitting at the end of the table in a particularly stunning black dress that fanned out in tussles and waves at the hips, but had a severe and plunging neckline that went nearly down to her naval. She was sitting back with an elbow propped on her knee as it was pulled up against her. She was biting the knuckle of her index finger as if was clenched in a fist. She looked deep in thought. And terribly sad.

"I thought he might have changed. Learned that his selfishness has cost others more than their grief. But it's as if he is stuck in this permanent stage of everything revolving around himself. Everything is his." Rhys was looking at her forlornly, as if he could see the ghosts of her past as much as she was reliving them at this very moment.

"We could send her notes... as you and I did when you were doing when you went in undercover." Rhys offered.

"That won't work. You could send them to me through our bond. How do we know what room she will be in? How do we know if she is alone? We would have to figure out places in the manor where only she would see them and there aren't any. Not even her own lavatory. I handmaid could find it, or a member of staff, and they would bring it right to him." Feyre's voice was bitter. Not at Rhysand, nor his idea, but almost enraged at how frustrating it was to something that should be so simple.

Azriel threw his idea on the table next. "What about sending someone in who they would never suspect? A visitor of some sort. We could find an old friend or an ally... maybe even hire someone. And they could get her alone for a moment. Even slip something into her hand while shaking it."

"Yes, but who? Tamlin claims to have finally found his mate. Every court knows. But everyone also knows that right now is not a good time for visiting or congratulations because it is supposed to be..." Cassian paused sourly at the image in his mind. "A time for them to get to KNOW each other... if you get my gyst."

Everyone at the table made a face. Picturing that poor girl alone with Tamlin in any kind of manner such as that. It made them all want to figure something out even more quickly.

"Kallias..." Rhysand suddenly spoke his name almost involuntarily. The idea forming into a single name before he could hold it back.

Feyre was suddenly sitting forward, a hard gleam in her eyes.

"What about Kallias, my love?"

Rhysand sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as if the very idea he was about to speak of was already utter nonsense.

"It's a far fetch... and would take some definite convincing but... the only time it would be acceptable to visit another High Lord after having a newfound mate would be if another High Lord visited. He would have to accept him." He paused for a moment in contemplation before continuing.

"It obviously couldn't be me. And all of the other High Lords have nothing I could use to sway them other than an argument. But Kallias... he has owed me a favor for quite some time. Something happened several hundred years ago and.. well, I have been waiting for the correct moment to call it in. Maybe this would be it. If he would even agree, that is."

Everyone at the table was silent.

"Wait, wait, wait..." There was a terrifying glee in Cassian's voice. "You don't mean... that night on the beach at the Summer Court Banquet... do you?"

"We will speak of this LATER. Cassian." Rhysands voice was suddenly as cold and as sharp as the edge of a knife.

He practically giggled with glee, which had both Azriel and Feyre glancing at each other in worry.

"What favor? What did you do for him that would possibly cause the High Lord of Winter to do your bidding?" Feyre's voice was as curious as a childs.

"Later. Please. I will tell you about it when we are going to bed, my darling." His voice was still incredibly guarded which had Cassian chortling all over again.

"Okay... so.. even if we do convince Kallias to do this.. what should we send her? It's all fine and well to have a way of sending a message but.. since it is what we feared then it sounds as if she won't be able to get away on her own anymore. She would need outside assistance for that as well. Someone to help her to the border. We need to figure out a fool proof plan." Feyre's voice was solemn. But Azriel stood.

"I can do it. Without getting caught. Without being suspected as well."

…...

I couldn't climb out of the corner of the room. Tamlin had left as quickly as he came. But I couldn't get up. It was as if my body had taken over my mind and was thinking that if I stayed in this corner of the room in the dark, I would be safer than if I were standing. If I were running. I should be running. He left me alone. He didn't even send anyone in to watch me. He left the manor with a boom, which I presumed was the door shutting behind him. I could hear the staff running around the house, cleaning up whatever messes he had made in his cacophony but now everything was eerily silent.

 _Come on..._ I told myself. It's far past midnight. The sun might even be coming up soon. This would be my best chance. _Just get up... just MOVE._

I trembled as my muscles began to slowly unlock, one by one. I couldn't wait on the Illyrian male. As much as I wanted to rely on him and the night court, this was a chance I could not pass up. Yes, it was very likely I would get taken down in the woods by Tamlin himself. Or by some other beast or creature of magic. And I had no idea where I was going. But by gods, he would not take away my will to run. And I would run. Over. And over. He would have to chain me up in some Cauldron-saken dungeon. And if he ever let me out, I would run again.

 _Hurry!_ I told myself. He could be back at any moment. Slowly, I uncurled myself. My muscles, my bones even, screamed at me and I had to bite back my voice that wanted to scream at the pain. I had been curled up for hours. Why did it always hurt more to try? To put in effort.

I somehow managed to get on my feet within a few extremely painful moments. My jaw still burned form his touch when he snatched me from across the room. I felt marred. But I was able to quickly throw on a pair of rather comfortably fitting trousers and an oversized undershirt that I tucked in as quickly as possible so as to prevent it from catching on anything and leaving any traces behind. I laced up a pair of boots that seemed best suited for running and walking in. And even managed to somehow sneak down the hallway,down the stairs, and into the kitchens to grab anything that would not perish within at least a few days. Gathering and picking in the gardens and on the outskirts of the palace in the Autumn Court had taught me at least which plants should not be eaten and which ones could be. But this was the spring court. They had a different variety of everything here. Hopefully I would be able to recognize some things if and when I ran out of the cheeses, dried meats, and breads I hastily stuffed into the rucksack I had found tucked away in the back of my closet. I even managed to snag and fill a canteen.

This wasn't me. This was desperation. I had always stuck it out. I had always gone on with knowing that tomorrow was a new day and the hope that maybe it wouldn't be as bad had always gotten me through even the toughest times. I pulled my hair up into a high knot, like I had always done when I worked in the palace. But this wasn't to keep the hair out of my face while I scrubbed the halls or picked weeds. This was to keep the wind from blowing in my face. To keep the branches from snagging it. This was new.

I don't know how there was no one awake who had spotted me inside the manor. Be it from cleaning up the mess Tamlin must have made. Or when their High Lord was gone, they took to rest, but whatever the Cauldron may have done to make this moment work, I was taking full advantage.

Sneaking out a back door in the kitchen, I didn't even hesitate as I ran off into the gardens I had been staring at through the bedroom windows for two days. The scents of the flowers even at night was overpowering. It made my stomach roll. I heard a shout from some distance off, but it made me run even faster. It was pathetic how I was already out of breath. Pathetic because of the fact that I was a female, I was automatically never allowed to train my body for self defense. What I would have given to the Cauldron to have better stamina, stronger lungs and muscles. But all I could do was run. No matter how much I stumbled, no matter how many roots tripped me, or branches that lashed at my face, I kept pushing. I couldn't stay here. I couldn't wait to be rescued. I had to take care of myself or else I would never get out of here. Somehow I knew that if I stayed tucked away in that corner, I would never get out. I had to decide then and there how I wanted my life to play out. And I chose to fight.

I heard a roar unlike anything I could ever imagine sound off in the far distance behind me at some point as I stopped to gasp for air, but I didn't even look back.


End file.
